Austin and Megan are our very very good couple friends. We went to Hawaii together. We started a small group together. We got married a couple of months apart. We cooked dinner together once a week. We lived down the street from each other. And, now, they’re coming to visit us. Our friendship continues. 🙂
With Austin and Megan, Gregg and I learned how to have couple friends. Friendship changes when you get married. I’m less vulnerable with my girlfriends than I was when I was single because I’m not only dumping my stuff out on them but my husband’s and my marriage’s as well. With couple friends, I can be vulnerable because Gregg is right beside me to defend himself if needed. Or, I can check in with him as I am talking, “are you okay if I tell them this?” He can’t really say no at that point, but at least I ask.
The best part of couple friends is the “us, too” part. When I share something with a girlfriend about myself, a huge part of me is sharing so that they’ll tell me I’m not alone. “Me, too” or “I know what you mean,” can be the most reassuring and refreshing of phrases when I am pouring my guts out. When Gregg and I share with Austin and Megan, there is almost always a “the same thing happens to us, too” during the conversation. Marriage isn’t all hard, but when it is, to know that other couples have issues and even the same ones can be so encouraging.