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Its a BOY, not a GIRL! Its BLUE and not PINK! So, scratch the this post from the record, as well as my mother’s intuition that prompted me to buy a leopard print coat for a 6 month old. Apparently the umbilical cord was covering the Oh-so-important boy part on our ultrasound.
So…bring on the toy trucks and barnyard animals and big appetites and sore arms that come from carrying the heavy load of a baby boy.
Last week, when E linked up to my post on emyselfandi, I got over 300 hits. This is about 4 times what my traffic typically is. So, for my first confession, that is the main reason why I’m linking up today. That was such an ego boost for my little blog here!
I’m knitting a scarf for me. I feel a little bit guilty about it, because I’m pregnant and so many of my friends are pregnant. I should be knitting baby stuff, right? I knit during my downtime at work. My co-workers will ask me what I’m making, and I say “A scarf for me, BUT as soon as I finish it, I’m going to start knitting for Baby.” This is true, but I’m always very quick to mention what I’m going to knit next to avoid any judgmental eyes (that would probably never come).
I miss Knoxville. So does Gregg. I idealized moving away, now I idealize moving back. We like it here on the Eastern Shore (more and more-its rhyme time, apparently). We love our house and our farm, and I love my job (once I drive the hour to get there). But, we miss home and the people there.
We got a new dog. Her name is Aspen. She is enormous. More than 100 pounds of Great Pyranees? Probably so. This is a confession, because she makes 5 pets for us. But! She’s a working girl. Gregg got her to keep predators away from…
these three (hopefully) pregnant girls…
as well as these mama hens. I think she’s doing a good job because she spends all night barking.
Last confession, I don’t really like turkey that much. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m really getting into learning about labor and birth. I love reading about what to do to prepare and what the experience could possibly be like. Lea calls the experience of medication-free contractions Laborland. Sounds like Candyland, but I don’t think there’s much of a similarity.
But, I’ve been having some issues with the natural childbirth books that I’ve been reading.
First, what I love. I love hearing what a female body is capable of doing. I love hearing about the power of the mind when in labor: not feeling safe (i.e. someone that you don’t like/don’t trust coming into the labor room) can actually make a woman regress in her labor. Woa. I’m interested in learning what I need to do to prepare, both mentally and physically, and I love when these books help me do that. And I love that, with their books, they share an alternative approach to the traditional, mainstream hospital setting.
What I don’t like is the total anti-establishment, anti-modern medicine attitude that some of these authors take. I get it, its important for women to be informed about their choices and understand the interventions that may be offered to them in the hospital. I just don’t like the bashing. I don’t like painting every medication used for induction like it is going destroy your baby and your body. There are risks with these medications, certainly, but the way they are presented could instill a lot of unnecessary fear. I feel like the tone should be more to inform and not bash, but I don’t think an unbiased view on this subject exists and maybe it shouldn’t.
I think I’m sensitive about this issue because I’ve worked in the environment that they are bashing, and it is very protocol-driven. I don’t like the Ob/Gyn’s and hospital staff being portrayed as uncaring clock-watchers (they are out there, but its not the majority). Just don’t bash my friends! I know the doctors and the nurses that work in the establishment and the majority of them care so much about their patients and want to take very good care of them throughout their pregnancy, labor, and birth.
Bloggers, sometimes do you think you are repeating yourself in your posts? Sometimes, I think, have I said this before…? Hope I’m not being too repetitive.
A BFF came to see me this weekend. What a treat! Gregg made us pizza on Friday night. Sam (her 16 month old) got to run around with the dogs, cats, and sheep. Did I mention our (hopefully) pregnant sheep are finally living with us? We also roamed around a town yard sale on Saturday. That’s right, a whole town came out to sell their stuff in a yard sale. We racked up. I got a necklace, a pile of lace for crafting, some Christmas ornaments, and a leopard print coat for a six month old girl(I have a hunch okay). [Comment on animal print: I never have worn animal print except for a snakeskin tube top I owned in high school. Was that even me? Not sure. Animal print is just not my thing, but on a little girl? Come on, that’s going to be adorable. Gregg was not a fan.] I didn’t pay more than $2 for anything (better than Goodwill!). E, Jeff, and Sam got an array of classic boardgames.
The best thing about this weekend was being known. Even for just 24 hours, I had friend in my house who has known me since I was three years old. (Wow.) We knew each other as little kids in preschool, as Freshman year roommates, as newly married friends, and, now, as moms and moms-to-be. So, so thankful. These kind of friendships are rare. My college friendships are rare, because they are lasting. They have a future and a past. I heard that the average friendship only lasts 6 years.
Meeting friends on the Eastern Shore, we’re starting right where we are, in the present, that is. There’s no past. Only a now and a future. In a place where people already have long-standing friendships with handfuls of people, nobody really feels like they need a new friend. They’re all lived here their whole lives, or so it seems.
This brings me to my resolution. I want to be welcoming to new people in the future. This resolution is stemming from our experience here so far. It seems like our friendships are two steps forward and one step back.
After getting settled in my community (in college, in San Francisco, in Knoxville), I have been pretty hesitant to reach out to new people. Small talk is hard and exhausting. But making people feel welcome is really important.
I prayed for a friend this weekend, after E left, and God began to answer me. At Sunday school, the girls were really excited that I was pregnant. Its fun to connect with people over an unborn baby. Its like insta-connection.
I started listening to Bringing up Bebe this morning. I’m already thankful that this is the first pregnancy/parenting/baby book I’m reading during my pregnancy. The book’s author is an American woman who conceives, carries, and raises 3 children in Paris. While in France, she observes how different the entire French culture approaches motherhood and parenthood than we do in America. Their attitude is much more worry-free while still raising confident and creative children. The French pregnancy magazines have articles entitled “9 Month Spa” rather than “Is it safe?” During pregnancy they encourage indulgence (while somehow gaining the recommended French 26 pounds versus the American recommended 35 pounds) rather than fear. The French parents aren’t required to adhere to one parenting theory or another, instead, they have a cultural theory that’s so embedded into everyone’s psyche that its actually difficult for the French to articulate what it is.
What I’m thankful for…
Pumpkin spice lattes AND Gingerbread lattes from Starbucks. (I usually get decaf, ok?)
Birthday money, including a gift certificate to Gap.
Two dogs, two cats, and a sweet husband.
A BFF coming to see me this weekend with her husband and baby.
A job that’s my most favorite that I’ve ever had.
A baby and a belly that’s just starting to poke out.
Holidays coming up where we get to see family, both coming to us and going to them.
A free dinner tonight, thank you drug rep.
Plants purchased at a discounted price (anything purchased at a discounted price!).
Connecting with my friends that live on the other side of the country (Meg and Julie).
Talking to other pregnant girls about being pregnant (especially about maternity clothes).
The beginning of my 29th year.
Scarves, sweaters, knitting, fall colors.
Its sometimes hard to get started, but once you get going, more things to be thankful for just keep coming up. This was effective therapy, since I felt like I had been too negative lately. (Example: a post entitled “woes.”)
More first trimester thoughts
I’ve become very introspective in the past couple of weeks. And I love it. Maybe that’s weird, but I’m finding comfort in going into myself(?) Sorry to sound hyper-spiritual. Its been a little strange because I’ve been craving community and people that know me, but I’ve been wanting to be myself and read and sit in the hammock and…just be.
My most recent visit to the OB/Gyn was empowering. I’ve been hesitant to get super worked up about wanting to have a natural labor. I’ve seen friends be absolutely devastated when their birth didn’t go as they expected. I didn’t want that for them, and I don’t want that for me. I’ve been protecting myself from the possibility of this kind of disappointment. Also, after working in the hospital with pregnant women both right before and after they have their babies, I’ve seen the outcome of different types of delivery is basically the same. When a healthy baby is born, it doesn’t seem to matter how their baby was delivered. But the process (the pregnancy and the birth) is important, I missed that before. I talked to my OB about how I’m used to being an observer, but, now that I’m a participant, I’m beginning to see things differently. Also, not working in the hospital any more, I think I’ve gotten some of my compassion back and lost some of my cynicism. That place does it to ya.
My Ob/Gyn encouraged me that its okay for me to have an opinion and to want to approach my pregnancy, labor and birth in a specific way. She encouraged me to write down the interventions that I would want and not want. To this, I told her that I know how nurses respond when a patient rolls into the unit with a Birth Plan. They roll their eyes and prepare for the worst. (What is it with nurses? I think, we’re both the meanest and nicest people in the world.)
I’m developing my pregnancy/childbirth/parenting reading list and loving it. I’m open to suggestions.